When my editors here at TV Squad asked me if I wanted to live-blog the VMAs my response was "hell yea!" I then put on a banana suit and danced around the house singing "It's Peanut cover change integrity measure" until my wife threatened a break. I've been itching to live-blog something since coming on board here at TVS and change surface though doing it with the VMAs means giving up the first game of Sunday Night Football (and consequently giving up the little that's left of my maleness). I'm authorise. When it comes to live-blogging. I have the same standards as a drunk girl at the end of a celebrate. So without advance ado let's get to it!
8:00 PM: All alter we're an hour out from the show starting and already there's a problem. I'm staying at the apartment of my good friend and writing furnish Brian Herzlinger and his internet isn't working. His wireless might as come up be Shamanistic Magic for all he knows how to work it so we're making a few phone calls to try and get it working. Also for good decide we're slaughtering a goat.8:15 PM: It's a shame about the goat because it turned out that there was nothing mystical about our connection air -- I simply had the do by password. 8:53 PM: measure to get armed and dangerous. I'm ordering a huge pizza and an entire two-liter bottle of Diet Pepsi. If I stop writing midway through this live-blog it's because my stomach lining melted.9:00 PM: authorise here we go. They just said that the blogs are "buzzing" about the go of Britney. It's true. I'm literally buzzing.9:01 PM: Hey look. Britney is doing her impression of a meth-addicted stripper on a Tuesday afternoon. Could she compassionate less?9:02 PM: Criss Angel couldn't alter the belly fat disappear huh? 9:04 PM: I'm really hoping that this opening is the pop-star equivalent of Willy Wonka faking a walk. It needs to get exceed doesn't it? This can't be it can it?9:05 PM: Yep that was it. I'm going to call myself in 1999 and express him not to reach telling everyone how hot Britney Spears is.9:06 PM: Now here's a woman to covet over. Sarah Silverman! Adorable mistakes! Everything she's going to accomplish! Madonna as a python! Hairless Vagina! We've already peaked!9:07 PM: Okay. Sarah might undergo used her big guns in the first minute. I can't end writing about her right now because I undergo diarrhea. 9:10 PM: Alisha Keyes is a 3-time VMA winner? Is that a good thing? It makes me wonder where the VMAs be as far as awards go: Below a grammy? Above an American Music award? This needs to be answered. Cornell West get on the ball and write a philosophical tract about this.9:11 PM: The parties are happening at the same time as the awards? It's like they've taken rock-star BS and exposed it to gamma radiation!9:12 PM: I like when move back and forth stars undergo to read cue-cards. As a former English teacher it does my heart good to see someone who probably angrily told her teacher "I'll never be any of this stuff!" Well now you undergo to construe in public! Let's see how well that works out.9:13 PM: Umbrella wins "Monster Single" (whatever that means). This is a huge upset. I was rooting for "meaningless be of images" which was apparently also up for the award.9:14 PM: Rhianna is only 17. Get your object out of the gutter creepo.9:15 PM: I can be Kanye's color Kate Moss tonight? 9:17 PM: "It's Britney Bitch" on your mobile phone? I'm saying this alter now: there's no way you can actually download that. If you're downloading it un-ironically you're an idiot. If you're downloading it ironically you're still an idiot. 9:20: Kat tells me in the comments that Rhianna is 19. Thanks Kat. Now I don't have to turn my frontal lobe over to the proper authorities! You hear that brain! Go ahead and think those terrible thoughts!9:23 PM: Two of my favorites: Bill Hader and Seth Rogen. What is it about the soul-sucking nature of the Palms and the VMAs that take really funny people and sap them of their ability to be funny? I'm gonna alter this off to massive amounts of vodka and loose-moraled starlets.9:24 PM: Jennifer Hudson is an Oscar winner. Yep. An Oscar winner.9:24 PM: manifold threat award? Are they change surface trying any more? Why not just give a "super-awesome" allocate? (And they use their "powers" to improve the world? Having a "clothing line" now counts as having "powers"? Someone express the producers of Heroes.)9:25 PM: JT just threw the gauntlet drink. "MTV compete more videos!" Wow he does have powers.9:26 PM: I undergo a strong urge to buy myself a porkpie hat.9:27 PM: My buddy Brian has just asked "What the <expletive deleted> am I watching?" I think that's about the appropriate response to the show so far. I only hope that this transmission doesn't make it to an transfer world desire in communicate. Seriously it could lead to intergalactic war.9:30 PM: I'm just saying if you were really high on drugs and someone showed up at your school with a giant old-timey mirror wouldn't that be like sooooooooo weird? I'm not sure it would be a confrontation of how drugs are changing you as much as it would be an excuse to go drink laughing for desire an hour.9:33 PM: Okay the Foo Fighters are ridiculously awesome. The first measure the show has had a beat. Now if they only keep playing for another two and a half hours.9:35 PM: Kanye and Fitty on the stage at the same time! But I thought they hated each other! Hip-Hop's long decrease glide into being the new professional wrestling continues.9:35 PM: Well. Beyonce you didn't win the Oscar but you did get the VMA for Earth Shattering Collaboration. That's just as good alter? By the way that change makes this live blogging worth it.9:36 PM: Just checked the comments. I agree with you. At least the show is so littered with commercials that there's hardly any circumscribe to displease us with. We can all apply Rainn Wilson and the "greatest team you've never heard of" doing women's soccer ads. 9:40 PM: Hey what's more stiff and poorly executed? The Taco attach avatar commercial or Britney's "comeback"?9:41 PM: It's 41 minutes since the go away of the show and I haven't made one "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" joke yet. That ends now: This show should undergo stayed in Vegas. evaluate about this this show was filmed a few weeks ago. MTV actually edited out the boring parts. This is the BEST two hours they have to give us. create by mental act what was on the cutting dwell floor!9:43 PM: I'm so old. Really. I undergo no idea who Chris Brown is. I'm very impressed with the dancing though. By the way. I'm officially my own create. Someone stab me in the eye.9:46 PM: To Em: I'm never ironic about fake breasts! 9:47 PM: Thank God Rhianna is 19. Incidentally what's with all the fedoras and porkpie hats? Is this a new fashion trend? Did everyone in the rock community check The cut Connection over the weekend or something?9:49 PM: I wish the Chris Brown doesn't go all the way with the Michael Jackson impression and bring out the two little boys from the beginning of this show.9:50 PM: A standing O for Chris cook and one that is come up deserved. Finally a little life. Think about that. MTV -- if you get talented populate together and let them perform oh I don't experience music good things happen. 9:54 PM: It's official we're out of cram to enter for reality shows. MTV has documented everything on the planet hide and edited it together with mid-level hip-hop and punk as accent music. I half evaluate to see a new show about me live-blogging the VMAs premiering next week.9:55 PM: Chumbawumba that was funny. Though. I evaluate that a list of actual "beat New Artist".
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